Jealous
by Nuyaviel
Summary: a songfic about how ginny comes to terms with harry and cho's relationship... argh! poor ginny! and i wrote this!


JEALOUS

_Jealous of the girl who caught your eye_

_One of my darker days_

_When you looked at her, where was I?_

_Should have been in her place_

---*---*---

Ginny Weasley's hands clenched around her spoon and fork.

She could hear Harry Potter laughing in the background. Despite herself she turned her head sideways to look.

Harry had carted himself over to the Ravenclaw table, and he didn't look like he would be going back to the Gryffindor table anytime soon. He was standing behind Cho Chang, and she was looking up at him. The two of them – and all the Ravenclaws within earshot of their conversation – were laughing.

Ginny's grip on her utensils were almost painful. She wasn't eating. She could only look at Harry. And at Cho.

Cho's head was tilted back, her long, silky hair falling from her face and exposing her slender neck. Her slanted eyes were focused on Harry, and her lips were curved up into a sweet smile.

Harry was smiling back down at her. He really did like Cho. He had never looked quite as happy as he did in that moment. His emerald eyes sparkled behind his glasses, and the way his dark, tousled hair framed his face made him look more attractive than ever.

Ginny was pained, but she did everything she could not to show it.

---*---*---

_Here I am_

_All alone, imagining what might have been_

_What could have been_

_If I had been there_

---*---*---

Ginny forced herself to look back at her plate, but her appetite was gone.

Her thoughts were in turmoil. Of course, she knew how Harry and Cho had gotten together. The entire school did.

Earlier that year, all the students, except maybe the Slytherins, were devastated about the death of Cedric Diggory. Most especially Harry. Few people knew the whole story. They just knew that Cedric had died during the Triwizard Tournament.

And Harry won first place in the tournament.

The first match of the Quidditch season had been Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff. Everyone noticed how tense Harry was as he mounted his broom and soared upwards. No one had dared comment on this – no one except Draco Malfoy.

And he had. Loudly.

His exact words were, "Hey, Potter! Glad that Diggory's dead, aren't you?" Then Malfoy had turned to the horrified audience and added, "This'll be an easy victory for The Boy Who Lived, now that his only real opponent in that pathetic team is out of the picture."

Four students reacted in the stunned silence. Ron had immediately gone after Malfoy, his sole intent murder. Hermione had raised her palm, thinking only to slap the smug little jerk into oblivion. Ginny had opened her mouth to yell every obscenity she could think of at the Slytherin, partnered with the most painful punches she could dole out.

But Cho, a few seats above Malfoy, had raised her wand and cast the Full Body Bind Charm on him. "Petrificus totalus!" Her voice had rung out over the stadium.

Then she had turned the most glacial stare anyone had ever seen on Malfoy. Coldly, she had called out, "You feel helpless, don't you? Well, that's how Cedric probably felt just before he died. And it wasn't Harry's fault. If anything, it was yours – it's your kind that supports the Dark Lord. It's your kind that helped him rise again, and kill Cedric."

The total, absolute quiet that pervaded the stadium had lasted for over a minute. Malfoy, unmoving, had terror in his eyes. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were frozen by shock. No one else moved.

Then Harry had disturbed the calm by flying towards Cho on his broomstick.

The crowd could only remain silent. Cho's eyes had met Harry's, and she waited.

Harry had done something completely stunning.

He had bent down and kissed Cho on the cheek, right in front of all the students. Then he had said softly, "Thank you."

---*---*---

_Jealous of the one whose arms are around you_

_If she's keeping you satisfied_

_Jealous of the one who finally found you_

_Made your sun and your stars collide_

_She's a very, very lucky girl_

---*---*---

Ginny was snapped out of her reverie by her older brother. Ron Weasley, a few seats away from her, stared at her and said around a mouthful of food, "Ginny, are you okay?"

Hermione Granger automatically told him, "Don't talk with your mouth full." Ron looked at his girlfriend, halfway between exasperated and chastened, and nodded.

Ginny was too disheartened to be amused. She forced a smile and said, "I'm fine, Ron."

Ron swallowed his food and opened his mouth to say something. But Hermione elbowed him sharply and said, "She said she's fine, so she is. And she obviously wants to be alone." Then the older girl turned to Ginny and added soothingly, "But as soon as you're ready to talk, we're here, okay?"

Ginny smiled faintly, gratefully, and nodded. Her thoughts wandered back to Harry and Cho.

After the Quidditch incident, the couple had been almost inseparable. They spent every waking moment between classes with other Houses together. Ginny had taken to walking the longer, less-used hallways around Hogwarts, just so she could avoid seeing the two of them together. They were so happy with each other.

Ginny knew she was jealous. She was pea-green with it.

She had loved Harry since she first saw him. Why wasn't he hers? Why was he loved by someone else?

Why did he love someone else?

---*---*---

_Jealous of the one who won your heart_

_They say it's a perfect match_

_She's gonna get to be where you are_

_And it won't get  better than that_

---*---*---

Ginny wanted to leave the Great Hall. She wanted to go to the solitude of her dorm, bury herself under a mountain of pillows, and cry her heart out. But Ron was sure to tell Mrs. Weasley that she wasn't eating well. And she hadn't been, not since Harry and Cho were first seen walking hand in hand in the corridors together. Which had happened a few weeks ago.

So she shoved her spoon into her mouth. The delicious food was tasteless to her.

Then she realized that Harry was heading back to the Gryffindor table. She stiffened.

Harry sat in the empty chair next to Hermione and squeezed her hand by way of a greeting, then reached over her to slap Ron a high five. Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas chortled and commented on his relationship with Cho. Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil giggled and told Harry how sweet he and Cho were.

Ginny pressed her lips together. Everyone was happy, except her.

"I'll be walking Cho to her dorm," he told his friends, popping some of the untouched food on his plate into his mouth. He chewed, swallowed, and said, "I'll meet you guys in the common room in about half and hour."

Harry stood up, slinging his bag over one shoulder, and went back to the Ravenclaw table. Cho stood up, serene and pretty. The two of them were talking animatedly as they left the Great Hall.

"They are so perfect for each other," Lavender cooed, looking after them.

"Yeah. I'm glad they aren't guilty about Cedric or anything. They shouldn't be. But you know how Harry is," Ron put in.

"They are incredibly sweet," Hermione agreed.

"I bet they'll be married in ten years," Seamus told the others.

Ginny listened and looked steadily down at her plate. Tears were filling her eyes, making the food a blur on her plate.

They were right. Harry and Cho were perfect for each other.

But she loved Harry. Loved him with all her soul.

---*---*---

_She'll say you're fine_

_Whisper words I wish were mine _

_And they might have been_

_They could have been_

_If I had been there_

---*---*---

"I hope Harry and Cho love each other all their lives," Parvati said.

That was it. If Ron wrote to Mrs. Weasley, fine. Right now Ginny really didn't care.

She stood up. She would have said something normal, like "see you guys later," but she knew that her voice would reveal her tears.

So she just hurried out of the Great Hall, her head bent low to hide the telltale shimmer in her eyes. She only managed to make it into the corridor before the steps that led to the Fat Lady before she collapsed into the dark spot below one of the torches lining the walls and started weeping quietly.

She was jealous of Cho. She would have given anything to be in Cho's place. She wished she were the one Harry smiled at, the one Harry talked to, the one Harry loved . . . 

Ginny didn't realize that although she was hidden in shadow and camouflaged by her black robe, her thick red hair caught the firelight and turned it into coppery-crimson glimmers, revealing where she sat. But the jade-eyed boy who walked through the corridor, still smiling over the good-night kiss he had just experienced, did.

---*---*---

_Jealous of the one whose arms are around you_

_If she's keeping you satisfied_

_Jealous of the one who finally found you_

_Made your sun and your stars collide_

_She's a very, very lucky girl_

---*---*---

"Ginny? That's you, isn't it? Are you all right?" As he spoke, Harry knelt down beside the crying girl and put his hand on her shoulder.

Ginny recognized that voice. It haunted her dreams. She turned and gazed into deep green eyes, full of concern. For her.

Her heart was hammering in her chest. Harry was touching her, and they were alone. Forgetting her tear-streaked face, she looked at Harry and said softly, "I am now."

Harry didn't understand. But as always, he was kind. "That's good. Here, I'll help you up." He stood and held his hand out to her.

Ginny took it and pulled herself up. She hoped her palms weren't too clammy.

She was disappointed when Harry let go of her hand, but she was appeased almost instantly. He reached up, brushing her hair out of her face, and said gently, "You've been crying. Why?"

Ginny couldn't speak. She loved Harry, and he was standing close to her, so close, and he was concerned about her.

---*---*---

_And you know I'd fight a good fight_

_If I thought I'd change your mind_

_But if she makes you happy_

_Then I'll leave the dream behind_

---*---*---

Ginny had to know something. She had to hear it from his own lips.

"Do you love Cho?" she asked abruptly. She held her breath, waiting for Harry's answer. It came quickly.

"Yes."

Her heart dropped. She would have burst into tears right then, but she knew it would upset Harry. She still loved him. She didn't want to upset him, not now, when he was so happy.

She saw Harry looking at her hair. She knew it was messy.

"You have pretty hair," he told her. He smiled. "Sort of red mixed with a dark, brownish gold."

Ginny stopped breathing again. Maybe there was hope. Maybe Harry saw her as someone he could love, the way she loved him. She would fight Cho for him. The whole school would side with the Ravenclaw. But she'd fight for Harry, if he would fight for her – 

"Better than Ron's, definitely," Harry added. He grinned. "You should tell him that Hermione wouldn't mind if he were bald. Lately he's been worrying about his hair."

And right then, Ginny understood what she had been too blind to see.

---*---*---

_Man, she'd better treat you right_

_And give you everything_

_Cause the moment that she doesn't_

_I'll be waiting in the wings_

---*---*---

Harry saw her as a little sister. And he always would.

Ginny was torn between laughing and crying at the ludicrousness of it all. Here she was, weeping because she loved him and he loved someone else. Here she was, her heart thudding with the thrill of being so close to him.

And he was telling her to go and tell Ron something.

She knew he would never do that with Cho. Because he loved her, the way she wanted him to love her.

But it wasn't going to happen.

As soon as she accepted that, something lightened inside her. She still loved Harry. She would still give anything to be the one he loved. But she would no longer spend her days pining for something that wasn't going to happen.

She smiled. Harry was pleased. 

"You should smile more often," he advised her. They began walking towards the Gryffindor common room. "Cho told me – "

"Professor McGonagall is teaching us how to transfigure non-living things into little animals that they resemble," Ginny interrupted. Just because she realized that she and Harry weren't meant to be together didn't mean that she was over him. She still loved him, and she suspected she would for a long time. So she changed the subject.

Harry was successfully diverted. "You mean teapots into turtles, that kind of thing? Hermione's really good at that, but then she's good at everything. . . "

---*---*---

_Jealous of the one whose arms are around you_

_If she's keeping you satisfied_

_Jealous of the one who finally found you_

_Made your sun and your stars collide_

_She's a very, very lucky girl_

---*---*---

The next day, she fought the urge to sink into depression when she realized that Harry and Cho were together again. Instead, she ate her breakfast and chatted determinedly with her friends.

And Ron didn't write anything to Mrs. Weasley.

Ginny suspected that Hermione had had something to do with that.

She felt the familiar tug at her heart when Harry entwined his fingers with Cho's, and the two of them started walking towards Charms, which Professor Flitwick taught to Ravenclaw and Gryffindor together.

She wished she could be more to him than his best friend's little sister.

---*---*---

She's a very, very lucky girl 

---*---*---

But to be honest, it was really quite sweet how Harry and Cho had gotten together.

Ginny wondered when her love for Harry would fade. She hoped it would happen soon.

She began listing his faults in her head. 'He wears glasses, he's too dumb to know that I like him, he always lets that git Malfoy provoke him . . .'

END

Disclaimer: 'Jealous' is a song by Nina, a Filipina music artist. I like it a lot. I wish everyone who reads this could hear the lyrics with the tone.

Please review! :-)


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